iNeed

Need: a condition or situation in which something is required or wanted

I have heard, and used, the word “need” many times in the last week.

“I love you. I need you.”

“I needed you with me this week.”

“I have a need to feel useful.”

“We need to stop for gas.”

“I need you to call me when you arrive.”

“You need to learn how to parallel park.”

It suddenly occurred to me how ambiguous the word “need” is. On the surface, it seems to mean, “I have to have _______.” However, the natural response to that sort of statement is, “Or what?” because there are actually very few things that we have to have, though we frequently use the word “need” It’s at that point that “need” becomes an ambiguous concept.

The essence of a need is, I think, that there is some kind of consequence if the object of need is not attained. Possible consequences of unfulfilled needs include failure, unhappiness, frustration, changes in plan, and anxiety. Or, to put it another way, unmet needs cause a person to enter some kind of undesirable state. Ultimately, using the word “need” means creating an “if…then” statement.

“If I don’t receive this _____________ (object, being, circumstance), then [something bad].”

Four of the most common consequences, or “bad things,” are as follows:

1. I will have to adjust my goals, expectations, or methods
2. I won’t be as effective
3. I won’t be happy
4. I won’t survive

Obviously, some needs are legitimate, while others are not. Some are justified; others are unreasonable, selfish, and sinful. How do we judge which needs we ought to consider and meet, and which needs we ought to disregard?

It seems like there are two categories of consequences. In the first category are consequences that are completely factual and out of the control of the person who identifies the need. These are objective consequences of unmet needs.

Examples:

- Not having the benefit of assistance will lead to a decrease in productivity and effectiveness.

- Not learning how to parallel park will force me to adjust my expectations about passing the driver’s test.

- Not drinking water will kill me.

Outside of these objective consequences, though, are subjective consequences of unmet needs. These consequences are within the control of the person who expresses the need. In other words, there is an extent to which the person who is in need can manage the severity of the consequence.

Examples:

- Not being able to spend time with a friend will cause unhappiness.

- Not feeling useful will result in a state of discontent and insecurity.

In these situations, the word “need” identifies a prerequisite to happiness. “Unless I get what I want, I will not be happy/content/at peace.” These kinds of subjective needs reveal our core values and deeply rooted principles. They can also reveal substantial inconsistencies in our beliefs. Christians, after all, profess to believe that Christ is all in all, the one thing needful.

Luke 10:41-42: “But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

Philippians 3:8: “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”

Despite these beliefs, it’s easy to live as though our subjective needs have the power to deprive us of happiness when they are not met. Not only is this a needless (ha!) form of bondage, it is also sin. If, by saying we “need” something, we mean we “won’t be happy” without a certain object, being, or circumstance, we are sinning. So, needs (outside of Christ) which claim to be essential to happiness and inner peace are illegitimate needs. Accepting that the consequences of these needs are legitimate is tantamount to denying the power of Christ in our lives.

Before this week, I don’t know if I’ve ever thought about my use of the word “need.” I use it all the time, and lightly, which isn’t a problem, but I also let little desires deceitfully claim that they are actually big needs which threaten my happiness. In actuality, there is no need that great which Christ has not already met. Whenever I, through thinking about my “needs,” equate my happiness with something other than Christ, I am casting doubt on the sufficiency of the gospel and the sustaining power of God. I’m sad that little, petty needs cause me to act against what I know is true.

However, I’m also inspired about living the grand and beautiful consistency of Christianity. Practically, that means refusing to believe that any need is so great that it has the potential to take my happiness from me. It’s time for me to evaluate what I truly mean when I claim that I am in need of anything.